4.2 Tigers in Disguise
披著人皮的老虎
阿姜曼說在他開始頭陀遊行的年代，除了曾到過大城鎮的少數人外，清邁山區的部落民眾都不曾看過佛教比丘。某次，阿姜曼與另一位比丘結伴遊行，他們走到一個山區，距離附近的部落大約是一英里半左右。阿姜曼與另一位比丘在樹林中搭營，營地就選在一棵大樹之下。隔天早晨，兩人走進部落托缽，村民們詢問他們來這裡是要做些什麼事嗎？阿姜曼回答，他們進來部落是為了托缽。村民不知道什麼是托缽，便問那是什麼意思？阿姜曼回答說，托缽是為了求得一些米飯的布施。村民再問是要煮熟或未煮熟的米；阿姜曼回答是煮熟的米飯。於是村民們拿來米飯，各放一些在兩人的缽裡。接著，這兩名比丘走回營地，將白米飯吃下肚。
從一開始，村民們就不知道世上有頭陀比丘的存在，他們自然不會生起恭敬之心，甚至許多人還認為這兩位比丘十分可疑。那一天晚上，村長敲響了他的竹製響板，這是召集所有村民們前來開會的訊號。說到阿姜曼與他的弟子走進部落托缽的事情，村長告訴大家：現在有兩隻「披著人皮的老虎」住在附近的森林。村長接著說，他還不知道是哪一種老虎，但絕不能信任這兩名比丘。村長禁止婦女與孩童進入森林；他也提醒進入森林的男人們必須結伴並攜帶武器，以免被這兩隻老虎攻擊。
那天晚上阿姜曼開始禪坐時，正好是村長向全村宣告的時候，阿姜曼經由神通知曉了整個會議過程。對這項無知的指控，阿姜曼深感悲痛；但對於村民們，阿姜曼並不感到氣餒或生氣，他仍對他們有著滿滿的慈悲心。阿姜曼唯一在意的是，多數村民可能會相信村長對他們的毀謗，而這將種下極為嚴重的業果－在過世之後，村民們可能會因毀謗比丘的惡業而投生成為老虎。第二天一大早，阿姜曼告訴弟子他在禪修時所看到的會議過程：
「昨晚村長召集村民，並且宣布我們是由老虎偽裝而成的人類。村長說，我們偽裝成比丘的目的是為了搏取村民們的信任，等到村民們放鬆警戒後，我們就會吃掉他們、毀掉他們的身家財產。所以，現在村民們對我們充滿了敵意；然而，若我們在村民們仍有邪見時就離開這裡，村民們死後可能會投生成為老虎，那是一個大家都不願見到的結果。因此，為了村民們的利益，我們應該忍受他們的敵意，並繼續住在這裡。我們必須忍受即將來臨的困頓，一直等到村民們改變心態後，我們才能離開這裡。」
結果，村民們不光是懷疑而已，他們每天還會派出三到四位攜帶武器的壯丁前來監視。有時，他們站在遠處監看；但也有的村民會在阿姜曼經行時，走到經行步道的盡頭、側面、或甚至就站在步道的中間盯著他看。村民們會用10至15分鐘的時間巡查整個區域，巡查結束後便離開。這樣子的監視每天都有，並且持續了幾個星期之久。
村民們完全不關心這兩隻「老虎」的生活，他們根本不在意這兩人是否有足夠的食物或其他的必需品。因此，這兩位比丘的生活是極端地艱困。托缽所得最多只有白米飯而已。或許有幾天的運氣還不錯，米飯的份量勉強能夠填飽肚子；但通常的情況是，比丘們吃完飯後的肚子仍是乾乾扁扁，他們還得喝大量的水才能把肚子撐起。
由於沒有洞穴或崖壁可供棲身，他們只能居住在樹下，忍受陽光和雨水無情的侵襲。這地區若下雨，往往是整天下個不停。一開始，他們只能忍受大雨無情的澆灌。等到雨勢稍停、森林較為乾燥時，比丘們便趕緊收集樹葉與乾草，他們搭起了一個茅草屋頂，勉強擋下些陽光與雨水。儘管並不舒適，但屋頂提供了些許的遮蔽，讓他們能夠撐過一次次的考驗。大雨再次來襲時，他們就在茅草屋頂下撐起傘帳，傘帳的周圍再掛些衣服以抵擋冷風7。通常，這樣的大雨會與從高山吹下來的山風結伴而行。風雨無情吹打著比丘們的傘帳，浸濕他們所有的物品。這兩名比丘只能坐在傘帳下，全身濕透且不住顫抖。如果是在白天時下雨，他們至少可以收拾好隨身物品，或許還能找到一個躲雨之處；但是若在夜晚下起大雨，情況就會相當艱困。他們就像是兩位盲人被困在狂風暴雨中，四周不時傳來樹枝折斷並砸落地面的聲音。狂風、暴雨、寒冷、與可怕的斷枝落葉將他們完全困住，他們不知道自己能否看到明天的太陽。不過就算在這樣艱困的環境，他們仍默默忍受著，他們必須熬過酷熱、寒冷、飢渴、與死亡的威脅，直到村民們改正心態為止。這兩名比丘還能得到白米飯的布施，但是村民的布施極不穩定，有一天沒一天的。飲用水也是個問題，他們必須花許多時間走到山腳下，用水壺裝些乾淨的水帶回住處。儘管生活艱困至此，村民們對這兩名比丘的態度依舊冷淡與嚴厲。
縱使生活艱困，阿姜曼仍然毫不擔憂，禪修一如平常。聽著森林裡野生動物們發出的聲音，阿姜曼只感到喜悅與滿足。深夜在樹下禪坐時，阿姜曼也常常聽到老虎在附近區域發出吼聲。但奇特的是，老虎們幾乎不會走進阿姜曼居住的區域。很罕見的情況下，可能會有某隻老虎來到阿姜曼住處的周圍。老虎悄悄走近，或許是出於對阿姜曼的好奇心；但只要阿姜曼稍微移動身體，老虎就會嚇得跳進樹林，頭也不回地逃走了。
幾乎每天下午都會有三或四名壯丁前來監視比丘們。他們會站在周圍竊竊私語，但從不跟阿姜曼說話；阿姜曼也不招呼他們，阿姜曼只是集中意識觀察他們的念頭。當然，村民們從未想過阿姜曼能夠知道他們在說些什麼、心中在想什麼。他們絕不可能想到有人可以讀取旁人的心思，而村民們總是將自己放縱在各種荒誕不羈的念頭上。
阿姜曼審視每一個前來監視的村民，他們果真是認真啊！每一個人都盡全力找尋蛛絲馬跡，想要揭發阿姜曼與弟子在行為上的破綻。面對他們敵對的態度，阿姜曼並不擔心，他依舊散發慈心給所有村民。阿姜曼知道，大多數村民只是暫時聽信少數人惡毒的謠言而已。
阿姜曼就這樣住在這山地部落幾個月，村民們也持續監視著他。村民們能夠這麼堅持，無非是想要證實他們心中最大的恐懼－世上真有披著人皮的老虎！雖然相信謠言為真，村民們倒也沒有趕走阿姜曼與他的弟子，他們只是持續監視著這兩名比丘。村民們一定很訝異，因為經過數月的嚴密監視，他們依然沒有找到阿姜曼或弟子有任何可疑的行為。
某晚當阿姜曼禪坐時，他察覺到村民們又在開會討論他的事情。他能聽到村長正在詢問村民們監視的情況，有什麼確實的證據？那些來偵察過的村民們全都這樣回答：沒有任何證據能夠証實大家的猜測。不只如此，有些人還提出了不同的聲音，他們認為若部落一直保持敵對的態度，可能會為部落招來災害。
「為什麼你們會這麼說？」，村長想要了解更多。
他們回答：「我們觀察到的部分是，兩位比丘的行為一切正常，與我們的猜想完全沾不上邊。不管何時去查看，比丘們不是闔起雙眼靜坐著，要不就是寧靜地來回步行。他們眼神專注，不像普通人會四處張望。若他們是老虎偽裝而成，為了要隨時攻擊獵物，他們不該如此沈穩。而且若真是老虎，我們早該察覺他們的破綻，怎麼會幾個月都沒找到蛛絲馬跡。若部落一直不友善地對待他們，我們可能會遭到報應。正確的方式應該是我們直接詢問他們來這裡的動機。擅自假設他們是老虎或是壞人，這樣的態度可能會為全村村民招來惡運。」
「我們是第一次看到有人能過著這樣簡單的生活，我們不敢說他們是好是壞。但若依照經驗來判斷，我們認為這兩位比丘值得尊敬，我們不該指控他們是老虎。要想知道實情，我們就直接與他們談談。或許我們該問問他們閉起雙眼靜坐、來回行走是在做什麼？他們在找什麼東西嗎？」
他們達成決議，明天將派一名代表去詢問比丘們。隔天一早，阿姜曼對他的弟子說：「村民們的態度正在改變。昨天晚上，他們召開會議討論監視的結果。他們已決定派人前來，直接與我們談談。」
正如阿姜曼所預見，村民代表在當天下午前來他們的住所。他詢問阿姜曼：「當你闔起雙眼坐著、或來回走動時，你是在找尋什麼東西嗎？」。
阿姜曼回答他：「我的佛陀丟掉了，當我在坐著或走路時，都是在找尋佛陀」。
「什麼是佛陀？我們能幫你找到它嗎？」。
「佛陀是這三界曾出現過一切事物中最稀有的寶物。若你們能幫忙尋找，那就太好了。或許大家便能夠早些看見佛陀了。」
「你的佛陀已經丟掉很久了嗎？」
「首先，靜坐或步行一次約15至20分鐘就好。佛陀並不希望你花太多的時間去尋找它，這是怕你過於疲倦而跟不上它的腳步。幾次之後，你可能會失去興趣不再尋找，於是永遠找不到佛陀。以上的資訊已夠讓你進行了。我若說得太多，你可能會記不得細節，反而降低你找到佛陀的機會。」
記住阿姜曼簡單的指示後，這村民就起身回家了。他沒有向阿姜曼知會一聲就直接離開。山區部落沒有向人道別的習俗，當覺得該離開的時候，人們就會直接離開。一回到部落裡，村民們都向他靠近，每個人都想聽看看發生了什麼事。這位村民首先解釋阿姜曼為什麼要闔起雙眼靜坐、為何來回步行：不是因為他們是披著人皮的老虎，而是因為他們在尋找寶物，寶物的名稱叫做「佛陀」。接著，他轉述阿姜曼所說該如何找到佛陀的簡要指示。知道方法後，從村長到孩童，每個人都開始練習在內心繫念「佛陀」的方法。
幾天後，令人驚訝的事情發生了－佛陀的法清晰地在一位村民的心中生起！這位村民照著阿姜曼的指導，一遍又一遍憶念佛陀時，他看見法的生起，他的心證得清涼與寧靜的境界。事實上，幾天前這位村民曾做了一個夢，他夢見阿姜曼把一支巨大的蠟燭放在他的頭頂上。當蠟燭碰到頭頂時，他的整個身體，從頭至腳都放出了光芒。他有如被光芒包圍著，此光芒甚至可照亮四周，而內心純然只是喜悅。
在看見法、證得清涼與寧靜之後，這位村民立刻跑去阿姜曼的住所，他要將自己的夢與現在所證得的境界說給阿姜曼聽。聽到他的回饋後，阿姜曼再給他更多的教導，好讓他能夠繼續進展。事情演變的結果，這位村民的進展竟相當快速，甚至在短時間內他就證得了他心通。同樣地，他也將此事告訴了阿姜曼，一如山區部落人民豪邁爽快的性情。
又過了一些日子後，這村民告訴阿姜曼，他說他已檢視過阿姜曼的心，並看清楚了它的特質。阿姜曼向他開個玩笑，問他是否裡面還有污穢？這村民毫不遲疑地回答：「你的心沒有一絲污穢，它已潔淨透亮，還能夠散發光芒照亮四周。我從未見過這樣的一顆心，它肯定是獨一無二。尊者，您來到這裡已經快一年了，為何您不一開始就教我禪修呢？」
「我如何能教你？之前，你從未問過我問題。」
「我當時不知道您是一位無上的導師。若那時知道，我早就來請教您了。一直到現在，村民們才了解您是一位真實的智者。那時我們問您為何闔起雙眼靜坐？來回步行是在找尋什麼？您說是弄丟了佛陀，並邀請我們幫忙尋找佛陀。請您多敘述佛陀時，您說佛陀是一顆閃閃發亮的寶石；但實情是，您的心就是佛陀。「尋找佛陀」是個巧妙的方法，它讓我們能心繫佛陀。而若找到佛陀，我們的心終究也能發出耀眼的光芒。現在我們都知道您有大智慧，留在這裡的目的只是幫助我們，讓我們找到佛陀，為我們帶來長久的安康喜樂。」
這位村民證入禪定的消息很快傳遍了整個部落，每一個人都對「尋找佛陀」生起極大的興趣，甚至連小孩子都跟著大人一起尋找。村民們對阿姜曼的信心是一天天地增長，每個人都開始視阿姜曼為三寶的代表，再也沒有人會提起「披著人皮的老虎」了。
從修得禪定的那天之後，這位村民每天早上會等阿姜曼托缽完之後，幫忙提著阿姜曼的缽，陪同阿姜曼回到森林的住所。待阿姜曼吃飯後，他會請阿姜曼指導他的禪修。若有事無法前來，他會請別人通知阿姜曼，他無法前來提缽陪行了。雖然之後部落裡許多村民都學習了禪修，但這位居士始終是最有成就的一位。
等到信心建立之後，與修行相關的其他事物自然會成為村民們關心的對象。譬如，村民們以前絕不會關心阿姜曼是生是死、更不會在意阿姜曼的吃住。待村民們了解佛教後，阿姜曼原本欠缺的生活用品很快就獲得了供養。阿姜曼根本沒有開口要求，村民們就自動聚集起來，為他整理出一條經行步道。他們也為阿姜曼蓋了一間小屋和一個可坐下用餐的平台。在前來幫忙時，村民們會說些好像是責怪，但實際上是讚揚阿姜曼的話語：
「看看這條經行步道，雜草幾乎快要把它掩蓋，只有野豬才可能走進去，您卻在那裡走來走去。尊者，您知道您很奇怪嗎？我們問您步道是幹什麼用的，您說您弄丟了佛陀，而步道是為了要尋找佛陀的。問您為何要闔起雙眼靜坐不動，您也說您正在尋找佛陀。您明明是位無上的導師，卻不跟任何人說明。您真的是一位怪人，但我們就是敬佩這樣子的您。看看您睡在哪裡？那不過是鋪在地上的樹葉，樹葉甚至都已經發霉了，您怎麼還能睡在那上面呢？您的住處比豬窩還不如，我們真是對不起您啊！我們之前太過愚癡，看不出您真是一位聖者。更不應該的是，還有人指控你們是老虎、是壞人，而我們所有人竟然就這樣相信了！幸好，現在村裡所有人都尊敬你們、聽從你們的教導了。」
阿姜曼說，當部落人民相信與尊敬某人後，他們的尊崇絕對是發自內心且毫無保留。他們會盡一切力量保護他，若有需要，他們也會願意犧牲自己的性命。這些部落人民把阿姜曼的教導聽進心裡，並依照教法改正自己的言行舉止。等到他們慢慢熟悉「繫念佛陀」後，阿姜曼再建議村民們逐漸拉長每天禪修的時間。
阿姜曼有一年多的時間都停留在那個部落，是從某年的2月一直待到隔年的4月。阿姜曼是如此慈悲地照顧村民們，因此他的離開也變得十分困難。村民們不願阿姜曼離開，他們希望阿姜曼終身都留在部落。他們還說，在阿姜曼死後，部落一定會安排盛大的火葬來紀念他。這些人對阿姜曼的敬愛與信任，完全發自他們的內心。毫無疑問，在依教奉行的過程中，他們已親證阿姜曼教法的利益。雖然一開始犯下錯誤，但在知道阿姜曼是一位戒德與智慧兼具的大師後，他們立刻拋棄原有的邪見，並懇求阿姜曼的原諒，而阿姜曼當然原諒了他們。在村民們完全改正心態後的某一日，阿姜曼對隨行的弟子表示，村民們的悔過已經完成。這句話有著雙重的意義，第一重即是字面上的含義，第二則透露出離別的時刻就要來臨了。
然而，要與村民們道別不是一件容易的事。當他們乞求阿姜曼留下時，任何人看到他們真誠的哀傷都會不禁動容的！一聽到阿姜曼要離開，全部落的人都衝了出來，他們邊哭泣邊懇求，整座森林似乎都跟著悲傷起來。村民們就像是至親去世一樣地嚎啕大哭。阿姜曼試著安慰他們，並向他們解釋離開的原因。阿姜曼告訴村民們，他們的悲傷不如法，他請大家自制，應該要依照佛法行為處事。
村民們平靜下來，看似同意了阿姜曼的離去。但是在阿姜曼邁步離開住所時，意想不到的事情發生了。所有的村民，老老少少、男男女女全都跟著他一起走。一開始，他們在道路上圍繞著他；接著，村民們開始去拉他的隨身物品。有些人拉住他的傘、碗、或水壺，有些人拉住袈裟，甚至直接抱住他的手和腳。他們就像是孩子一樣，不願讓他離開，一定要把他拉回村裡。
於是，阿姜曼不得不再次解釋為何他要離開，安慰他們，好讓他們止住哀傷。他們終於同意了；但只要阿姜曼開始走路，他們又會哭著把他拉回來！幾個小時後，阿姜曼終於離開了這個部落。而那令人心碎的別離與悲傷則渲染開來，整座森林顯得只是一片暗淡的墨綠。「披著人皮的老虎」的稱號早已被村民們所拋棄，懷疑與敵意也已轉變為村民們的深深依戀與信任。誰能想到最後這群部落居民會圍在阿姜曼身邊，泣不成聲地哀求他不要離開呢？那悲泣聲迴盪在林間，有如是一股殷殷期盼：「您要快點回來，請不要離開太久，我們已經因為思念而黯然神傷了！」
阿姜曼來到一個充滿懷疑與敵意的村落，最後卻獲得了所有人的尊敬與信任。阿姜曼成功地翻轉村民們的心靈，把原本粗劣的事物變為精美－這正是一名佛陀弟子該做的事。佛陀的弟子絕不會怨恨或責備他人。若有人厭惡他們，他們仍會慈悲地對待對方。他們不會因為他人的不當行為而反擊，也不會因此而生起敵意。要知道那些行為只會讓人們互相指責而已。一顆慈悲滿溢的心，能夠讓受貪瞋癡煎熬的人們生起淨信，為世間提供一個安詳、可依賴的皈依處。像阿姜曼這樣慈悲、戒德具足、智慧圓滿的聖者，真是世間罕有啊！
後來阿姜曼講述此段往事時，我們這些弟子都不禁同情起那些村民們。我們彷彿可在腦海中看見森林裡發生過的悲傷往事－隨著阿姜曼的講述，影像就像電影般一幕一幕地出現。我們相信，村民們都已建立起堅實的信心。他們願意犧牲一切，以換得阿姜曼繼續留下來的可能。他們只想住在他慈悲的光輝下，繼續過著幸福與充實的日子。當然村民們會哭泣、哀求、會拉住阿姜曼的手與腳，他們願意盡一切可能把阿姜曼帶回森林的小屋－那旁邊有個平台的小屋是他們聽聞正法的起源啊！雖然如此感傷，但阿姜曼繼續遊行人間的時機已到，沒有人能夠無視世間之無常。無常是世間的實相，也是一種原動力。它讓所有事物持續前進，沒有任何人、任何事物能夠阻止。因此，當該離開的時候到了，阿姜曼就會離開；縱使阿姜曼完全瞭解他的離去會讓村民們傷心欲絕。
儘管這部落人民曾一度說阿姜曼是「披著人皮的老虎」；但大家都知道，阿姜曼是一位「究竟離垢」的聖者，他為世間揭示了真實純淨是可達成的目標8。阿姜曼的離去也是必然的－那是他的天性，也是為了讓更多的民眾有親近佛、法、僧三寶的機緣。
佛法是這世間最珍貴的寶物。事實上，每一位有情皆能在生命之中尋得實相，追尋的過程惟需謹慎。然而，佛法時常遭受人們的誹謗，如同阿姜曼被村民指控為「披著人皮的老虎」。類似這樣的誹謗與破壞始終沒有停息過，也因此佛法終將會消失在這個世間。若我們依舊懈怠，不趕緊完成身為佛陀弟子應盡之責任；等到機緣消逝，我們將發現自己已找不到正確的道路，最後只能徒嘆奈何了！
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阿姜曼的一舉一動完全符合諸佛曾經揭示的「善逝」精神。9當生活在森林或山區時，阿姜曼便教導部落人民、或者會為天人、梵天、鬼界、蛇神、大鵬金翅鳥等等有情說法。阿姜曼總是秉持著慈悲心，以符合比丘身份的方式幫助世間。在人類社會中，阿姜曼一視同仁地教導比丘、沙彌、比丘尼、或各階層的平民百姓。每一處的人民都希望阿姜曼遊行至自己的家鄉，希望能夠有聽聞開示的機緣。阿姜曼的開示既詳盡又適切，人們總能夠從中獲得利益。
在清邁山區，部落人民是在下午時分前來聽聞阿姜曼說法；到了深夜，阿姜曼則會為來自各層天界的天人們開示並回答他們的提問。教導天人是項辛苦的工作，而且阿姜曼無法請弟子們代勞，這工作需要適切的神通才能夠勝任。相比之下，教導民眾可以委請別的比丘幫忙－只要民眾能夠明瞭比丘所說並依教奉行。因此，與各界天人的交流是阿姜曼最為重要、且必須親力親為的工作。也是因為這原因，此本傳記記載了許多阿姜曼與天人們的事蹟，從第一章到最後一章都是如此。
就在不久前，我去拜訪了一位相當有名望的頭陀比丘。這位阿姜持戒嚴謹，禪定與智慧具足，他深受各地人民與僧團所尊崇10。當我抵達他的道場時，阿姜正與幾位近侍弟子們討論佛法，於是我得以加入他們的討論。開始時，我們談起了日常生活中該如何實踐佛法這方面的議題；討論到後來，我們問起了他與阿姜曼相處的一些故事。這位阿姜曾前去清邁，他在那裡的山區接受過阿姜曼的教導。那時候，他們住在偏遠的森林，離最近村落甚至需要步行數天！阿姜為我講述了許多精彩且特別的故事，我沒有料想到那一天的收穫竟是如此豐富！以下，我記錄下我認為適當的內容，其餘的部分則省略，理由如前所述，我就不贅述了。
這位阿姜說，除了戒定慧具足之外，阿姜曼還擁有各種神通。這讓弟子們既敬佩又害怕，大家都深怕會有被阿姜曼逮住自己失神的時刻。對於我請求他說一些在那時發生的故事，這位阿姜一開始表示，他可能記不太清楚了；我則鼓勵他任何片段都有幫助。就算不完整，這些故事仍可留給後世子孫－或許能夠讓他們獲得啟發與利益。以下便是他所說：
「我能多說什麼－阿姜曼就是知道我的腦袋在想什麼！我覺得自己像是被鍊子拴住的一名弟子，白天或夜晚皆如此。當然我已使出全力看顧自己的思緒；但儘管如此，阿姜曼仍可捉到我的胡思亂想，還會將之公開！跟著阿姜曼修行時，我的禪定其實已算不錯了，但我仍止不住各種念頭。人們可千萬不要小看自己的心－不論白天或黑夜，它總能夠產生各式各樣的遐想。有幾個人能夠長時間規範自己的心，能夠長久到讓心放棄暇想、成為一顆受控制的心？每個時刻我都戒慎恐懼，因為阿姜曼最會捉這些思想賊，他甚至比我自己還要清楚我的心。有時候，他會說出連我自己都忘記的念頭，於是我只能誠實面對自己曾經犯下的疏失。」
我問這位阿姜，是否曾接受過阿姜曼的訓斥？他說：
「他當然訓斥過我；但通常的情況是，他知道我的念頭，但不會立刻教訓我；在集會時，他才會使用那些不善思維做為開示的題材。這真是尷尬，因為通常有許多同修一起聽訓！幸運的是，如果其他比丘在場，阿姜曼就不會說出犯行者是誰－他只會說明這不當思維相關的戒律議題。」
我想知道為何阿姜曼這樣的處置會令他覺得被訓斥？這位阿姜回答：
「你知道愚癡凡夫這個名詞嗎11？這說的是一顆比花崗岩還要頑固的心，而且總是莽莽撞撞、恣意妄為。我的心尚未能仔細評估思緒是好是壞、是對或錯－這樣的心本就該時常教訓了。」
我問道：當阿姜曼訓斥時，他是否會害怕？
「我怎能不害怕？或許大家看不出我的身體在顫抖，但那是因為我已被嚇到六神無主，我連大氣都不敢喘一下！我完全相信阿姜曼知道別人心中在想什麼。」
「我就親身經歷過。他可以一字一字地記下我的想法，之後再當面詰問我。例如，偶爾我會生起一種愚蠢念頭：我想離開老師自己獨自修行、或許還可以四處遊行。若我在半夜裡生起這種想法，隔天早上我遇到阿姜曼，他會立刻教訓我：「你到底想要去哪裡？這裡遠比其他地方好，只要你跟著我修行，這裡就是最好的道場」。阿姜曼絕不會放掉這些賊思，他會跟我說：「還是這裡舒服。與其你獨自修行遊學，倒不如你待在這裡、好好學習佛法呢！」他永遠不會同意我離開的！不過，我當然知道阿姜曼是擔心我的禪修停滯，所以他要我專心接受他的指導。」
「但令我害怕的是，不管白天或夜晚，只要我將心識集中在阿姜曼身上，我就會看到他正在盯著我看。似乎他從來都不休息！有幾個夜晚，我甚至害怕到不敢躺下去，因為我覺得他就在我面前，嚴厲地盯著我看。只要我一分神、心思飄去外在世界時，我總會感覺他正盯著我。但也因為阿姜曼的嚴厲，所以我總是盡全力維持正念。」
「作為他的學生，我們必須秉持正知正念。跟隨他托缽時，我們戰戰兢兢地控制念頭，不敢讓心思飄出自己身軀之外。若有一時不慎，肯定訓斥聲就會響起－甚至是一起遐念我們就被罵了！因此，我們總是以正念觀照自己的心思。但即使如此，阿姜曼仍可找到些什麼來教訓我們，而且他絕不是無的放矢。三不五時，我們之中一定會有某人犯錯，於是阿姜曼的訓斥便又會響起。譬如，晚上集會時，阿姜曼可能會突然責備起一件聽起來奇怪、大家也摸不著頭緒的事情。等待集會結束，同修們會悄悄地詢問彼此，剛才阿姜曼到底在罵誰？最後總會有同修出面坦承，他就是那胡思亂想的當事人！因為對阿姜曼的敬畏，我們每一位弟子都會盡力維持著正念，那段跟隨阿姜曼修行的日子真是奇妙啊！」
這位阿姜還告訴我一個小故事。在他剛抵達清邁時，他是先掛單在當地一間小寺院裡。在那寺院停留還不到一小時，他看見有輛車開了進來，而且就在他剛剛住進的小屋前面停了下來。
「於是我仔細瞧瞧是誰來到這裡？結果下車的正是阿姜曼！我趕緊從小屋出來迎接他。我恭敬地問為何他會來這裡？阿姜曼直接告訴我，他是來接我的。阿姜曼說，在我抵達的前一晚他就知道我會來了。我問他是否有人通知他，我今天會來到清邁？阿姜曼說，他如何知道這件事並不重要，他就是知道而且想要來這裡－於是他現在人在這裡。聽到阿姜曼這麼說，我就開始擔憂了。而我愈認真想著他的他心通，我就愈惴惴不安。當我和他住在一起之後，我所有的擔憂都成為了事實！」
「如果在阿姜曼開示時，我們的心能放下成見，無疑我們將沉浸於聞法的喜悅裡。他的每一個字句都是法，簡單且純淨，世上沒有別的事物比它更能引起我們修道者的注意。但若有比丘不專心聞法，分心於世間思維，我們全體比丘將立刻感受到氣氛之變化，會場中似乎有大火生起，而犯行者就身處在火源之上，他會特別地痛苦難耐。在開示說法時，阿姜曼不會顧慮他的開示是否太過於針對某人－阿姜曼就是會直接攻擊貪瞋癡聚集之處。」
「某些情況下，阿姜曼會說出犯行者的名字，並且直接指責他：「為何你昨晚修得那麼糟？禪修不該那樣做，你應該要這樣子修行」。或者阿姜曼會說：「今天早上你怎麼會那樣想？若不希望讓這些不善思維毀掉你的生命，你應該立刻停止。為什麼你不依照佛陀的教導思惟？你有什麼問題嗎？我們待在這裡的目的，是為了捨棄過往錯誤，並訓練自己合於正法之道。我們不是為了放縱而來這裡，但你今早的行為卻無異於縱火紋身。」
對那些已全心全意追求法的行者而言，跟隨阿姜曼修行絕對是人生中最充實且快樂的時光，這些人也很少受到阿姜曼的責罵。總之，阿姜曼不願意弟子們有任何的不善思維。偶爾出現的不善思維，對阿姜曼而言就像是有人將火苗丟棄到草地，阿姜曼會立刻斥責，絕不讓它繼續燃燒。但若犯行者很快意識到錯誤，並立刻端正思維，那麼阿姜曼不會多說什麼，事情也就這樣過去了。」
7. 傘帳可稍微擋下些風雨。傘撐開後，在它的外緣懸掛一塊布，布向下延伸到地面。比丘可在此空間內或坐或躺。
8. 「究竟離垢」與「他為世間揭示了真實純淨」都是傳統上用來指稱阿羅漢時常使用的字句。它們可視為阿羅漢的代名詞。
9. 善逝（Sugato），「好去」或「去彼岸永不再輪迴」之義。是描述諸佛的傳統語詞，為佛陀的十號之一。
10. 這裡提及的尊者是阿姜放（Ãcariya Fan Ajãro）。
11. 愚癡凡夫（Puthujjana）是普通的世俗人民，對正法沒有任何的了解或證悟。
Ãcariya Mun said that, excepting the few who had visited large towns in the region, most of the hill tribe people in Chiang Mai had never seen monks before. Early in his travels, Ãcariya Mun and another monk went to live in the mountains about a mile and a half from a hill tribe village. They camped in the forest, taking shelter under the trees. In the morning, when they went to the village for alms food, the villagers asked why they had come. Ãcariya Mun said they had come to collect alms. Puzzled, the villagers asked him what that meant. Ãcariya Mun explained that they had come to collect offerings of rice. They asked him if he wanted cooked rice or uncooked rice. When he said cooked rice, they got some and put a little in each of their alms bowls. The two monks then returned to their camp and ate the plain rice.
Lacking faith from the very beginning, the villagers were very suspicious of the monks. That evening the village headman sounded the bamboo clapper to call everyone to a meeting. Referring to Ãcariya Mun and his disciple, he announced that there were now two ‘tigers in disguise’ staying in the nearby forest. He said that he had yet to determine what kind of tigers they were, but they weren’t to be trusted. He forbade the women and children to enter the forest in that area; and men who went were warned to go armed and in groups lest they should be attacked by the two tigers.
As it happened, Ãcariya Mun was beginning his evening meditation at precisely the time the announcement was made to the village community. So, Ãcariya Mun, who was the object of this warning, was also privy to the whole affair. He was deeply saddened by the senseless accusations; but, instead of feeling angry or discouraged, he felt only ineffable loving compassion for the local villagers. He was concerned that the majority might naively believe such slanderous talk and, therefore, be burdened by its dreadful moral consequences until they died – at which time they might well be reborn as tigers. Early the next morning, he informed his disciple of what he had seen.
“Last night the village headman assembled everyone and announced that we are ‘tigers in disguise’. We were both accused of being tigers who are disguised as monks in order to deceive them into trusting us so that we can then destroy both their persons and their properties. Because of this, they have no faith in us at all. If we were to leave here now while they still harbor these negative thoughts, they may all be reborn as tigers when they die – a grievous kamma indeed. So for their benefit, I think it’s incumbent on us as monks to remain here and put up with the situation for a while. We must endure the ensuing hardships until they’ve changed their attitude before we move to another location.”
Not only did the villagers distrust them, but groups of three or four armed men often came to keep an eye on them. Sometimes, they stood watching from a distance. But at other times, seeing Ãcariya Mun walking meditation, they came closer and stared at him from the end of his walking path, or from the side of it, or even stood right in the middle of it. They glanced around, surveying the whole area for about 10 to 15 minutes, then left. This surveillance routine continued day after day for many weeks.
The villagers showed no concern whatsoever about the personal welfare of these two ‘tigers’. They were not interested in whether or not they had enough food and other necessities to survive. Thus, the living conditions of these two tigers were difficult in the extreme. The most they received on almsround was plain rice. On some days, it was just barely enough to satisfy them; on other days, it wasn’t nearly enough, even though they drank a lot of water with it as well.
Since there was no cave or cliff overhang in which they could take shelter, they lived and slept under the trees, putting up with exposure to the sun and the rain. When it rained in that area, it tended to rain all day. After the rain abated and things dried out a bit, they went looking for dry leaves and grasses to construct a make-shift thatched roof, giving them some limited protection against the weather. It provided enough cover to survive from day to day, albeit with much discomfort. When it rained heavily, they sheltered under their tent-umbrellas with the cloth sheeting hanging down around them as protection against the cold wind.7 Often the rain was accompanied by strong winds that came howling down out of the mountains, blowing their umbrellas, soaking their belongings, and leaving both monks drenched and shivering. If it happened during the daytime, they could at least see what they were doing while collecting their requisites to look for some cover. But when it occurred at night, the situation was extremely trying. They were unable to see even as the rain poured down and the cold wind blasted through the trees, causing branches to break off and crash down around them. They were never sure of surviving this onslaught of rain, wind, cold, and loose debris flying at them from all directions. During such hardships, they just endured the best they could. They had to abide the heat, the cold, the hunger, the thirst, and the uncertainty of their existence while they waited for the villagers’ mistrust to subside. Even though they received only plain rice, their supply was, at best, erratic. Drinking water was hard to come by; so they had to walk down to the foot of the mountain to fill their kettles, carrying the water back up to serve their daily needs. Despite such an impoverished existence, the villagers showed no sympathy for their plight.
In spite of the hardships, Ãcariya Mun felt free of anxieties and responsibilities as his meditation practice progressed unhindered. He took great pleasure from listening to the calls of the various wild animals in the surrounding forest. Seated in meditation under the trees late at night, he constantly heard the sounds of tigers roaring close by. Curiously, those huge tigers rarely ventured into the area where he was seated. Occasionally, a tiger did approach Ãcariya Mun. Perhaps, suspecting him to be wild game, it snuck in to have a look. But as soon as the tiger saw him make a move, it leapt off into the forest in alarm, and was never seen again.
Nearly every afternoon, three or four men came to check them out. They stood around whispering among themselves without a word to Ãcariya Mun, who, in turn, ignored their presence. When they arrived, Ãcariya Mun focused his citta on their thoughts. They, of course, never suspected that he knew what they were thinking or what they were whispering about. It’s unlikely they even considered the possibility that someone could be privy to their thoughts, which they indulged in unrestrainedly. Ãcariya Mun focused his attention on everyone who came. As was to be expected of a reconnaissance party, he discovered that they were primarily looking to find fault with him in some way. Instead of taking precautions against such findings, Ãcariya Mun responded with great compassion. He knew that a majority of the villagers were subject to the corrupting influence of a small minority.
Ãcariya Mun remained at this site for many months; yet, the villagers persisted in trying to catch him at suspicious doings. Their sole purpose was to find him doing something that would confirm their worst fears. Although they were sincerely committed to this, they never tried to chase him away: they merely took turns spying on him. The villagers must have been surprised that despite their consistent surveillance for months, they still couldn’t catch him doing anything wrong.
One evening while sitting in meditation, Ãcariya Mun became psychically aware that the villagers were assembled for a meeting concerning his case. He could hear the village headman questioning the others about the results of their surveillance: What had they been able to determine so far? Those, who had taken turns observing the two monks, said the same thing: they could find no evidence to confirm their suspicions. They were worried that their suspicious attitude might be doing them more harm than good.
“Why do you say that?” The headman wanted to know.
They replied: “As far as we can tell, there’s nothing in their conduct to confirm our assumptions about them. Whenever we go to check them out, either they are sitting still with their eyes closed, or they’re calmly pacing back and forth, not looking here and there like most people do. People who are tigers in disguise, poised to attack their prey, would hardly behave like that. These two monks should have exhibited some sort of incriminating behavior by now, but we’ve seen nothing so far. If we keep treating them like this, we may suffer the consequences. The correct approach would be to speak with them to find out about their motives. Presuming their motives to be sinister may well reflect badly on us all.
“Good monks are hard to find. We have enough experience to tell good monks from bad ones. These monks deserve our respect. Let’s not hastily accuse them of treachery. To find out the whole story, let’s go speak with them. Let’s ask them why they sit still with their eyes closed, and why they pace back and forth – what are they searching for?”
A decision was reached at the meeting to send a representative to question the monks. In the morning, Ãcariya Mun spoke to his companion: “The villagers are beginning to have a change of heart. Last night they held a meeting about their surveillance of us. They have decided to send someone here to question us about their suspicions.”
Just as Ãcariya Mun foresaw, a village representative arrived that very afternoon to question him: “What are you searching for when you sit still with your eyes closed, or pace back and forth?”
Acariya Mun replied, “I’ve lost my buddho. I’m searching for buddho while sitting and walking.”
“What is this buddho? Can we help you find it?”
“Buddho is the most precious gem in the three worlds of existence – a jewel of all-pervading knowledge. If you help me find it, that’ll be excellent. Then we will all see buddho quickly and easily.”
“Has your buddho been missing long?”
“To begin with, sit or walk for about 15 to 20 minutes at a time. Buddho doesn’t want you to spend too much time searching for it yet. It’s afraid you’ll grow tired and so be unable to keep up with it. Losing interest, you will not want to search anymore. Then you’ll miss it altogether. This is enough to get you started. If I elaborate any further, you won’t remember it all, thus jeopardizing your chances of meeting buddho.”
With these instructions in mind, the villager returned home. He didn’t take leave of Ãcariya Mun in any special way, because that was not the hill tribe custom. Deciding that it was time to go, he simply got up and left. As soon as he arrived at the village, everyone gathered around to hear what had taken place. He explained why Ãcariya Mun sat still with his eyes closed and why he paced back and forth: he was searching for the precious gem buddho and not, as they had presumed, because he was a ‘tiger in disguise’. He then explained Ãcariya Mun’s brief instructions on how to find buddho. Once the villagers knew the method, everyone – from the headman on down to the women and older children – began to practice, mentally repeating ‘buddho’.
Several days later, something truly amazing happened. The Dhamma of the Lord Buddha arose clearly in the heart of one of the villagers. While mentally repeating the word “buddho” over and over again as Ãcariya Mun had suggested, one man in the village found Dhamma: his heart attained a state of peace and calm. A few days earlier, the man had dreamed that Ãcariya Mun was placing a very large, bright-shining candle on top of his head. The moment Ãcariya Mun set the candle on his head, his whole body, from the head on down, was brightly illuminated. He felt overjoyed as the radiance, spreading out around him, illuminated the surrounding area as well. Soon after he attained this state of tranquility, he went to tell Ãcariya Mun about his achievement, and about the amazing dream he had prior to it. Ãcariya Mun then gave him additional instructions on how to proceed with his practice. As it turned out, his progress was very quick: he was soon able to psychically know other people’s thoughts. He informed Ãcariya Mun of this very matter-of-factly in the forthright manner typical of forest people.
Sometime later, this man declared to Acariya Mun that he had examined Ãcariya Mun’s citta and had clearly seen its characteristics. Playfully, Ãcariya Mun asked if he could see much evil in his citta. The man answered without hesitation, “Your citta has no focal point whatsoever – only an absolutely incredible radiance shining within. Your preeminence is unrivaled anywhere in the world. I’ve never seen anything like it. You’ve been here about a year now, why didn’t you teach me about this right from the beginning?”
“How could I teach you? You never came to ask me any questions.”
“I didn’t know you were a supreme master. Had I known, I’d have come for sure. Now we all know you’re an extremely clever person. When we came asking you why you sat still with your eyes closed and what you were looking for as you paced back and forth, you told us your buddho was lost and asked us to help you find it. When asked to describe it, you said buddho is a bright, sparkling jewel, but in truth the real buddho is your heart. The missing buddho was simply a clever ploy to persuade us to meditate on buddho so that our hearts could become bright like yours. Now we realize that you’re a supremely wise person whose only desire was for us to discover the supreme buddho in our own hearts, thus ensuring our long-term welfare and happiness.”
The news of this man’s attainment of Dhamma spread rapidly through the community, further arousing everyone’s interest in buddho meditation so that even small children took it up. Their faith in Ãcariya Mun thus reinforced, their reverence for his teaching steadily increased. No one ever mentioned ‘tigers in disguise’ again.
From that time on, the man who had learned to meditate carried Ãcariya Mun’s alms bowl back to his forest retreat every day after the almsround. After Ãcariya Mun finished eating, he would then seek advice on his practice. On the days when he had business to attend to, he told someone to inform Ãcariya Mun that he wouldn’t be available to carry the alms bowl. Although quite a few men and women in the village learned to meditate, this first man was the most accomplished.
When people are satisfied, everything else naturally falls into place. For instance, previously these people were not the least bit interested in how Ãcariya Mun ate or slept, or even whether he lived or died. But later when faith and respect arose in them, those things that previously were scarce soon became plentiful. Without having to be asked, the villagers joined forces to make him a walking path. They also built him a hut and a platform on which to sit and have his meal. When they came to help, they disguised their praises of him in reproachful tones.
“Look at that walking meditation path. It’s all overgrown with vegetation. You’d have to be a wild boar to penetrate that thicket. And yet, you still insist on walking there. You’re really weird, you know. When we ask you what the path is for, you say it’s a place to search for buddho – I’ve lost my buddho. When asked why you sit still with your eyes closed, again you say you’re looking for buddho. Here you are a supreme master, yet you don’t tell anyone about it. You’re the strangest person we’ve ever known, but we like you just the way you are. Your bed is a carpet of moldy smelling leaves strewn over the ground. How could you stand it all these months? It looks like a pig’s lair. Looking at it now, we feel so sorry for you we could cry. We were very stupid, all of us. We didn’t realize what a wonderful person you are. Worse than that, a few of us accused you of having sinister motives, convincing the rest to dislike and distrust you. Finally now the whole village trusts and reveres you.”
Ãcariya Mun said that, when hill tribe people decided to trust and respect someone, their belief was heartfelt and unequivocal. Their loyalty was unconditional – they would sacrifice their lives if they had to. They took what they were taught to heart, conducting themselves accordingly. As they became more familiar with the method and more proficient in their practice, Ãcariya Mun taught them to steadily increase the amount of time they spent doing buddho meditation.
Ãcariya Mun stayed with those people for over a year – from February of one year to April of the following year – until he finally left. However, because of his great compassion for them, taking leave of them was very difficult for him. They were very reluctant to see him go. They assured him that, were he to remain there until he died, the whole community would arrange for his cremation. Those people were willing to put their complete trust in him out of a deep sense of love and devotion. Unmistakably, they had seen for themselves the good results of his teaching. And to their credit, they were smart enough to see their own faults as well. Once they came to know him as a truly virtuous, highly respected monk, they realized their mistake and so begged his forgiveness. He forgave them, later telling his disciple that their amends were complete. This meant that the two of them were then free to go somewhere else.
But taking leave of them was no simple matter. Ãcariya Mun said that it was moving beyond description to witness their affection and deep devotion as they beseeched him to stay. Having heard that he was preparing to leave, the whole village came out, weeping and pleading with him until the entire forest was disturbed by the commotion. It sounded as though they were mourning the dead. While explaining his reasons for leaving, he tried to comfort them, assuring them that such distress was unwarranted. He counseled self-restraint, which is the way of Dhamma.
When they calmed down, seemingly resigned to his departure, he began to leave his forest retreat. Then, something totally unexpected happened. All the villagers, including the children, ran after him. Surrounding him on the path, they proceeded to snatch away his requisites. Some grabbed his umbrella, his bowl, and his water kettle, while others clutched at the robes he wore or clung to his arms and legs, trying to pull him back again – acting just like children. They were determined to not let him go.
Ãcariya Mun was obliged once again to explain his reasons for leaving, consoling them until they calmed down. Finally they agreed. But no sooner had he started walking off than the crying began and they rushed to drag him back again. Several hours passed before he eventually got away. Meanwhile, the whole forest was disturbed by noisy scenes of hysteria that were heart-rending to watch. The initial epithet ‘tigers in disguise’ meant nothing to them then. In its place had arisen deep reverence and attachment for a man of supreme virtue. In the end, these hill tribe people couldn’t hold back their emotions. As they gathered around him crying and pleading, their many voices merged into a crescendo: “Hurry back to visit us again. Please don’t be gone long, we miss you so much already it’s breaking our hearts.”
Having arrived in the area surrounded by suspicion and dissatisfaction, Ãcariya Mun departed amid emotional scenes of affection and attachment. He had managed to turn something unseemly into something beautiful, so enhancing its value immensely – as befits one ordained as a disciple of the Buddha. The Buddha’s disciples never hold grudges or look to blame others. Should anyone dislike them, they will try to help that person with loving compassion. They never take offense at other people’s misbehavior nor do they harbor feelings of animosity that could lead to mutual recriminations. A heart full to overflowing with loving compassion inspires faith in those ablaze with kilesas by providing them with a peaceful, dependable refuge. A heart of such loving grace possesses virtuous qualities that are unparalleled in the world.
Later when listening to Ãcariya Mun tell this story, we couldn’t help sympathizing with the hill tribe people. We formed in our minds a clear image of those chaotic scenes in the forest – as though we were watching a movie. We could imagine the villagers’ potent faith, ready to sacrifice anything for this man of supreme virtue. All they asked was a chance to bask in his aura of loving kindness, thus continuing to enjoy a life of prosperity. So they cried and pleaded with him, clutching at his arms and legs, pulling on his robes and other requisites, until he returned to the small eating platform with the thatched roof that had been a source of such contentment. Though an incredibly moving occasion, the time had come for him to move on. No one can possibly negate the transient nature of the world. The driving principle of constant change keeps everything moving – nothing can halt its progress. For this reason, when the right time came, Ãcariya Mun had to leave, though he fully understood the position of those faithful villagers who were so emotionally attached to him.
Although Ãcariya Mun was once labeled a ‘tiger in disguise’ by the hill tribe people, it is well known that he was, in truth, a ‘pure one’ who existed as ‘an incomparable field of merit for the world’.8 Ãcariya Mun left that mountain community in order to follow his natural inclination – to be of the most benefit to the greatest number of people.
Buddhism is a priceless inheritance that has always been an integral part of our very existence. But, perhaps it too could fall prey to insidious accusations of being a ‘tiger in disguise’ much in the same manner that Ãcariya Mun did. It could end up being severely damaged by people whose views are hostile to Buddhist principles and traditions. In truth, this process has already begun, so we should not be complacent. If we fail to fulfill our obligations, we may forfeit this inheritance, only to regret it later.
ÃCARIYA MUN FOLLOWED the way of sugato.9 When living deep in the forests and mountains he was constantly of service to the hill tribesmen, or else the devas, brahmas, ghosts, nãgas, and garudas. He was always compassionately assisting the world in some way or other. In human society he taught monks, novices, nuns, and lay people from all walks of life without exception. People everywhere sought him out to hear his instructions. They all gained an enormous benefit from his teachings, always delivered in a thorough, coherent manner that would be hard for anyone else to equal.
While he lived in the mountains of Chiang Mai, the hill tribe people received great joy, listening to his Dhamma discourses in the late afternoons. Later at night, he taught Dhamma to devas from various levels of existence, always responding to their many inquiries. Teaching devas was a heavy responsibility, since it was difficult to find another monk with the same psychic skills to stand in for him. Teaching people was a responsibility that could be delegated to others – at least the people listening would gain enough understanding to derive some benefit if they made the effort. Ãcariya Mun’s relationship with devas of all realms was of primary importance to him. So his biography is interspersed with stories about them at different times in different places, right to the very end.
Not so long ago I went to pay my respects to a vipassanã kammaååhãna ãcariya of the highest caliber, a senior monk with an exceptionally kind, gentle disposition who is greatly revered by monks and lay people all over Thailand. 10 When I arrived he was discussing Dhamma with several of his close disciples, so I took the opportunity to join them. We began by discussing various practical aspects of Dhamma, eventually coming around to the subject of Ãcariya Mun, who had been his teacher. In the past, he lived under Ãcariya Mun’s tutelage in the remote mountains of Chiang Mai, training with him at a forest retreat that was several days walk from the nearest town. It’s hard to find words to describe the many remarkable, amazing stories he told me that day. I shall relate the ones I feel are appropriate here, while the others I shall skip, for reasons I explained earlier.
This ãcariya said that, besides his undoubted purity of heart, Ãcariya Mun also possessed many unique abilities that inspired awe in his students and assured their vigilance at all times. He said he couldn’t possibly remember all of the strange, unusual stories he had heard from Ãcariya Mun; so, I urged him to tell me what he could remember. His words would serve as a memorial – a source of inspiration for future generations. This is what he said:
“Ãcariya Mun knew everything I was thinking – what more can I say? I felt as though I were on a tight leash day and night, such was the vigilance I applied to observing my mind. Despite my best efforts, he could still catch my errant thoughts, publicly exposing them for everyone to hear. My meditation was actually quite good while staying with him, but I couldn’t always prevent stray thoughts from arising. We should never underestimate the mind’s ability to think incessantly, day and night – non-stop. How many of us can catch up with our thoughts long enough to restrain them effectively? So I was constantly on guard, for he was better at catching my thoughts than I was! Sometimes, he brought up thoughts that I’d forgotten having. Suddenly, I was made to recall thoughts that had long since past.”
I asked the ãcariya if Ãcariya Mun had ever scolded him. He told me:
“Occasionally he did; but, more often he read my thoughts, then used them as a way of teaching me Dhamma. Sometimes other monks were listening as well, which really embarrassed me. Fortunately, if other monks sat listening, Ãcariya Mun never revealed the name of the offender – he merely spoke about the relative merits of the thoughts in question.”
I wanted to know why he thought Ãcariya Mun scolded him sometimes. He said:
“Do you know the word puthujjana?11 It means a mind denser than a mountain of stone, careening out of control. It doesn’t consider whether thoughts are good or bad, right or wrong – which was a sufficient reason for him to give a scolding.”
I asked him if he felt afraid when Ãcariya Mun scolded him.
“Why shouldn’t I have been afraid? My body may not have been shaking, but my mind certainly was. I almost forgot to breathe at times. I have no doubt that Ãcariya Mun truly did know the minds of others
– I experienced it myself. He could literally collect all my thoughts, then confront me with them later. For example, from time to time I rather foolishly thought about going off on my own. If such a thought occurred to me at night, early the next morning, as soon as I encountered him, Ãcariya Mun immediately started lecturing me: ‘Just where do you think you’re going? It’s far better here than anywhere else. It’s best that you stay here with me …’ and so on. He never let these thoughts pass undetected. ‘It’s more enjoyable here. Staying here and listening to the Dhamma is better than going off on your own.’ He never would consent to my going. I believe he was worried that my meditation practice might deteriorate, so he tried to keep me under his tutelage the whole time.
“The thing that terrified me about him was, day or night, whenever I decided to focus my citta’s attention on him, I saw him staring back at me. It seemed he never took a rest! There were nights when I didn’t dare lie down because I could visualize him sitting right in front of me, scrutinizing me every moment. Whenever I focused my citta on external objects, I invariably found him there looking at me. Because of this, my mindfulness was constantly alert.
“As his students, we were forced to be mindful. Following him on almsround, we carefully kept our thoughts under control, restraining our minds from straying beyond the confines of our bodies. Were we careless, we could expect to hear about it – sometimes immediately. Consequently, we exerted mindfulness over our thoughts – at all times. Even then, he could usually find something to lecture us about, and always with good reason. Inevitably, at least one monk among us gave Ãcariya Mun cause to speak out. During the evening meeting, Ãcariya Mun might speak in a scolding tone about some rather strange affair that seemed to make no sense. As soon as the meeting adjourned, the monks would quietly ask around to find out whose thoughts he was censuring that day. Eventually one of the monks confessed that, as strange as it might seem, he actually had been thinking such nonsense. Living with Ãcariya Mun was a wonderful experience, for fear of him always promoted a mindful attitude within each of us.”
This ãcariya told me that when he first arrived in Chiang Mai, he went to stay at one of the local monasteries. Having been there less than an hour, he saw a car pull into the monastery grounds and come to a stop right in front of the hut he had just moved into.
“When I looked out to see who had come, there was Ãcariya Mun! Hurrying down to receive him, I respectfully asked why he had come. He replied without hesitation that he came to pick me up. He said that he knew the night before that I would be coming. I asked if someone had informed him that I would be arriving in Chiang Mai. He replied that it was beside the point how he learned of it – he knew about it and wanted to be here, so he just came on his own. Hearing that, I became apprehensive. And the more I considered the implications, the more apprehensive I grew. Later, when I was living with him, all my fears were confirmed.
“If our minds were free of conceited opinions when we received his Dhamma discourse, then we became pleasantly absorbed in listening. His entire discourse was Dhamma – pure and simple; and it engaged our full attention more than anything else we had ever heard. On the other hand, if a monk listened half-heartedly, burdened by the weight of worldly thoughts, then we soon perceived fire in his discourse, and the offending monk would promptly feel the heat. In giving a talk, Ãcariya Mun was not concerned about whose kilesas his words might disturb – his Dhamma rushed to confront the kilesas at just that point where they were most prolific.
“Occasionally, he did identify a monk by name, confronting him directly. ‘Why were you meditating like that last night? That’s not the right way to meditate, you must do it this way’ Or, ‘Why were you thinking like that this morning? If you want to avoid being ruined by such harmful thinking, then don’t think like that again. Why don’t you think and act in ways that the Lord Buddha has taught us? What’s the matter with you? We’re here to train ourselves in the way of Dhamma in order to get rid of wrong attitudes and erroneous thinking. We are not here to indulge our thoughts, burning ourselves with them the way you’ve been doing.’ Those who wholeheartedly accepted the truth, lived contentedly with him, and he didn’t say much to them. But any furtiveness caused him deep misgivings, as though the offending thoughts were fire burning him, and he would suddenly make a surprising comment about it. If, however, the monk realized his mistake and changed his attitude, then nothing further was said and the matter rested there.”